1 00:00:09,586 --> 00:00:11,310 [laughter] - "Pony" by Ginuwine comes on, 2 00:00:11,379 --> 00:00:13,482 and Sam walks straight to the middle of the room, 3 00:00:13,551 --> 00:00:14,724 clears a big circle, 4 00:00:14,793 --> 00:00:16,103 won't let anybody else dance-- 5 00:00:16,172 --> 00:00:17,517 - I drop down to the ground 6 00:00:17,586 --> 00:00:18,862 and start doing the worm. 7 00:00:18,931 --> 00:00:21,689 And boom! My pants split wide open. 8 00:00:21,758 --> 00:00:25,241 - No underwear! Butt everywhere! 9 00:00:25,310 --> 00:00:26,758 - Man, it was so bad, 10 00:00:26,827 --> 00:00:28,551 the principal had to give Sam his pants. 11 00:00:28,620 --> 00:00:30,379 [laughter] - I still have 'em. 12 00:00:30,448 --> 00:00:32,137 - You do? - They fit! They fit! 13 00:00:32,206 --> 00:00:35,241 [laughter] 14 00:00:35,310 --> 00:00:36,758 - Well, I have a funny prom story. 15 00:00:36,827 --> 00:00:38,137 - Yes! - Okay, okay. 16 00:00:38,206 --> 00:00:41,172 So our theme was Under the Sea. 17 00:00:41,241 --> 00:00:44,793 Except they put stars on the ceiling. 18 00:00:44,862 --> 00:00:47,068 Well why would there be stars on the ceiling 19 00:00:47,137 --> 00:00:49,448 if we're under the sea?! 20 00:00:49,517 --> 00:00:51,793 [laughing] 21 00:00:51,862 --> 00:00:53,137 Who does that, you know? 22 00:00:53,206 --> 00:00:54,413 - Uh, yeah. 23 00:00:54,482 --> 00:00:55,620 I guess there wouldn't be... 24 00:00:55,689 --> 00:00:58,034 - No. - Ha, ha! 25 00:00:58,103 --> 00:01:00,758 Ah, man, hilarious. 26 00:01:00,827 --> 00:01:03,206 - Then I was voted prom queen, so, you know, so dumb. 27 00:01:03,275 --> 00:01:06,620 - Congratulations. - Thank you so much. 28 00:01:07,137 --> 00:01:08,068 I love your hair. 29 00:01:08,137 --> 00:01:09,862 - Oh, thank you. 30 00:01:09,931 --> 00:01:12,586 - Yeah, Chrissy does YouTube hair tutorials. 31 00:01:12,655 --> 00:01:13,827 They're pretty popular. 32 00:01:13,896 --> 00:01:15,551 - Oh, I love YouTube! 33 00:01:15,620 --> 00:01:17,241 Yeah, I have lots of videos on there 34 00:01:17,310 --> 00:01:19,206 of me singing gospel songs. 35 00:01:19,275 --> 00:01:20,862 So many views, it's embarrassing. 36 00:01:20,931 --> 00:01:22,413 So dumb. - Totally. 37 00:01:22,482 --> 00:01:23,586 - And now it's time for Mort Crim's 38 00:01:23,655 --> 00:01:25,206 Chump of the Week. 39 00:01:25,275 --> 00:01:27,206 - Oh, here comes Chump. - There we go! Morty! 40 00:01:27,275 --> 00:01:30,482 - This week's chump is my son's best friend Tucker. 41 00:01:30,551 --> 00:01:32,862 If you're coming to someone's house for a sleepover, 42 00:01:32,931 --> 00:01:34,931 you don't get a nosebleed. 43 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:37,344 That's all my stuff you bled on, Tucker. 44 00:01:37,413 --> 00:01:38,862 - Classic Chump. 45 00:01:38,931 --> 00:01:41,586 - Up next, watersports and weather. 46 00:01:41,655 --> 00:01:43,379 - ♪ If you want to save money... ♪ 47 00:01:43,448 --> 00:01:45,103 - Oh, I love this commercial. 48 00:01:45,172 --> 00:01:47,068 - Well, it's one of ours. 49 00:01:47,137 --> 00:01:48,931 - You know that's Sam singing, right? 50 00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:50,344 - Really? 51 00:01:50,413 --> 00:01:52,310 You're so cute. - Eh, actually I'm sexy. 52 00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:53,862 - ♪ Dime after dime ♪ 53 00:01:53,931 --> 00:01:56,482 - ♪ It's an undeniable fact ♪ 54 00:01:56,551 --> 00:02:01,275 - ♪ And it's always bargain time at Farmer Zack's ♪ 55 00:02:01,344 --> 00:02:04,103 - ♪ You get your nickels back ♪ 56 00:02:04,172 --> 00:02:09,413 ♪ And it's always bargain time at Farmer Zack's ♪ 57 00:02:09,482 --> 00:02:11,689 - Who is that you're singing with? 58 00:02:11,758 --> 00:02:13,344 - Uh, you know, 59 00:02:13,413 --> 00:02:15,103 I don't quite remember. 60 00:02:15,172 --> 00:02:16,758 Something like that kind of is, like, can slip the mind. 61 00:02:16,827 --> 00:02:18,793 - Sam, that's Molly. 62 00:02:18,862 --> 00:02:22,379 - Is it, Chrissy? What a fantastic memory you have. 63 00:02:22,448 --> 00:02:24,413 - Yeah, we've been doing Sudoku puzzles 64 00:02:24,482 --> 00:02:26,517 so we don't go nuts when we're old people. 65 00:02:26,586 --> 00:02:28,689 - ♪ And it's always bargain time at Farmer Zack's ♪ 66 00:02:28,758 --> 00:02:29,896 - Who's--who's Molly? 67 00:02:29,965 --> 00:02:31,448 - ♪ Farmer Zack's ♪ 68 00:02:31,517 --> 00:02:32,482 - Just an acquaintance. 69 00:02:32,551 --> 00:02:33,827 - An acquaintance? 70 00:02:33,896 --> 00:02:36,896 You used to call her your soulmate. 71 00:02:36,965 --> 00:02:38,379 - Ex-girlfriend. 72 00:02:38,448 --> 00:02:41,310 I guess that's why you guys sound so passionate. 73 00:02:41,379 --> 00:02:43,172 - Ah, it's just a commercial, babe. 74 00:02:43,241 --> 00:02:44,965 Who cares? I mean, it's not like I came. 75 00:02:45,034 --> 00:02:46,241 - Ohhhh, man! - Sam! 76 00:02:46,310 --> 00:02:48,068 - What? I said I didn't come. 77 00:02:48,137 --> 00:02:49,724 - I don't normally comment on the commercials, 78 00:02:49,793 --> 00:02:52,068 but that grocery store commercial 79 00:02:52,137 --> 00:02:53,827 makes me just a little horny. 80 00:02:54,758 --> 00:02:55,931 - ♪ Next time ♪ 81 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:57,241 ♪ When they ask you ♪ 82 00:02:57,310 --> 00:02:59,172 ♪ Where you're from ♪ 83 00:02:59,241 --> 00:03:01,000 ♪ You gon' say Detroit city ♪ 84 00:03:01,068 --> 00:03:05,241 ♪ When we get back on our feet, yeah ♪ 85 00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:06,758 ♪ Yeah ♪ 86 00:03:06,827 --> 00:03:09,793 [smooth music] 87 00:03:09,862 --> 00:03:11,413 - Yes, sir. 88 00:03:11,482 --> 00:03:14,379 ♪ ♪ 89 00:03:14,448 --> 00:03:16,172 - Ho, ho, shit! 90 00:03:16,241 --> 00:03:18,241 [laughing] 91 00:03:18,310 --> 00:03:21,482 Yeah, that is it right there! 92 00:03:21,551 --> 00:03:23,172 Mm. 93 00:03:24,586 --> 00:03:26,206 Oh, uh, can I-- can I get a Whopper? 94 00:03:26,275 --> 00:03:28,103 - The hell's that? Is that some kind of joke? 95 00:03:28,172 --> 00:03:29,689 - Yeah, of course it's a joke. 96 00:03:29,758 --> 00:03:31,275 I think it's funnier than you do, actually. 97 00:03:31,344 --> 00:03:33,241 - Well, Tim, I had this great idea. 98 00:03:33,310 --> 00:03:34,448 It's just--it kind of made me laugh. 99 00:03:34,517 --> 00:03:36,275 I was like, what if-- 100 00:03:36,344 --> 00:03:39,275 get this--we re-recorded the Farmer Zack jingle 101 00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:41,172 with me and Shannon singing? 102 00:03:41,241 --> 00:03:42,689 - Ugh. 103 00:03:42,758 --> 00:03:44,379 Shannon's jealous 'cause it's you and Molly. 104 00:03:44,448 --> 00:03:46,896 - No. Shannon didn't even mention it once. 105 00:03:46,965 --> 00:03:48,172 Yet. 106 00:03:48,241 --> 00:03:49,586 But man, it's so awkward, you know. 107 00:03:49,655 --> 00:03:50,758 It comes on all the time. 108 00:03:50,827 --> 00:03:52,000 So let's re-record it. 109 00:03:52,068 --> 00:03:54,379 - Sam, people love that jingle. 110 00:03:54,448 --> 00:03:55,620 - Yeah, but they'll love the new jingle 111 00:03:55,689 --> 00:03:56,862 even more. 112 00:03:56,931 --> 00:03:58,103 Plus, 113 00:03:58,172 --> 00:03:59,241 Shannon's a professional singer, 114 00:03:59,310 --> 00:04:00,310 she's my girlfriend, 115 00:04:00,379 --> 00:04:01,482 and we're doing it, so... 116 00:04:01,551 --> 00:04:03,310 - Yeah, you know what? Fine. 117 00:04:03,379 --> 00:04:05,620 But it's only because I want you and Shannon to be happy. 118 00:04:05,689 --> 00:04:07,068 - Thank you, buddy. 119 00:04:07,137 --> 00:04:08,758 - But tell me this, my friend... 120 00:04:11,620 --> 00:04:12,689 How's the sex? 121 00:04:12,758 --> 00:04:13,896 - We don't have to do that. 122 00:04:13,965 --> 00:04:15,103 - I'm sorry. I apologize. 123 00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:16,379 It's a joke. - Okay. 124 00:04:16,448 --> 00:04:17,689 - It's all part of the-- I mean-- 125 00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:19,620 - Yeah. 126 00:04:19,689 --> 00:04:22,172 - Crap, now I'm picturing you pumping. 127 00:04:22,241 --> 00:04:24,000 - Now I'm picturing you pumping. 128 00:04:31,344 --> 00:04:33,137 - For the life of me, I can't understand, 129 00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:35,034 why would you steal Kotex? 130 00:04:35,103 --> 00:04:36,655 Do you even know what they are? 131 00:04:36,724 --> 00:04:38,241 Look at me! 132 00:04:38,310 --> 00:04:39,655 Do you know what my daddy would do if he found me 133 00:04:39,724 --> 00:04:41,068 stealing some Kotex? 134 00:04:41,137 --> 00:04:43,310 He would beat my black ass. 135 00:04:43,379 --> 00:04:44,689 You better look at me. I ain't playin'. 136 00:04:44,758 --> 00:04:46,103 I'll put my foot so deep in your ass 137 00:04:46,172 --> 00:04:47,931 you'll be walking on my knees. 138 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,551 Tomata, you're banned from the store. 139 00:04:49,620 --> 00:04:52,344 Now get your ass outta here! 140 00:04:53,103 --> 00:04:54,344 Better take that look off you-- 141 00:04:54,413 --> 00:04:55,931 you take that look off your face. 142 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:58,068 - You can't steal, buddy. Ooh! Sam! 143 00:04:58,137 --> 00:05:00,655 - Hey, guys. What can I do you for? 144 00:05:00,724 --> 00:05:03,068 - Randy, we think it's about time 145 00:05:03,137 --> 00:05:04,862 you update that commercial of yours. 146 00:05:04,931 --> 00:05:06,862 - Are you crazy? People love that commercial. 147 00:05:06,931 --> 00:05:09,000 - Yes, they love it. But it's outdated. 148 00:05:09,068 --> 00:05:10,827 - Yeah, times are changing, 149 00:05:10,896 --> 00:05:12,724 and people want a grocery store that changes with them. 150 00:05:12,793 --> 00:05:13,931 - Let's walk! Tell me what you're talking about. 151 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:15,689 - Let's walk, let's walk. 152 00:05:15,758 --> 00:05:17,206 - You got to check, because they be stealing the toys 153 00:05:17,275 --> 00:05:18,689 in here, you know what I'm sayin'? 154 00:05:18,758 --> 00:05:19,862 You put little ski masks in there, 155 00:05:19,931 --> 00:05:21,482 you know what I'm sayin'? 156 00:05:21,551 --> 00:05:22,896 Chocolate Duke, baby. You can't--[chuckles] 157 00:05:22,965 --> 00:05:24,724 - Yeah, well it's just Count Chocula. 158 00:05:24,793 --> 00:05:25,827 - Hmm? 159 00:05:25,896 --> 00:05:27,620 - Randy, we were thinking, 160 00:05:27,689 --> 00:05:30,275 for the new commercial, we could update the song, uh, 161 00:05:30,344 --> 00:05:32,206 with different prices for the holidays, 162 00:05:32,275 --> 00:05:37,137 like, uh, "for the 4th of July, hot dogs are 2.99. 163 00:05:37,206 --> 00:05:39,275 That price just blew my mind..." 164 00:05:39,344 --> 00:05:40,689 - Mike! 165 00:05:40,758 --> 00:05:42,275 Don't squeeze the melons like that, man, 166 00:05:42,344 --> 00:05:43,586 I can smell your fingers on it! 167 00:05:43,655 --> 00:05:44,862 - I don't do that anymore. 168 00:05:44,931 --> 00:05:46,758 - I'm lookin' at ya, man. 169 00:05:46,827 --> 00:05:48,793 - No, I'm looking at 'em to buy. 170 00:05:48,862 --> 00:05:51,206 - Oh, I'm sorry, man. My apologies, man. 171 00:05:51,275 --> 00:05:53,724 Tsunami of apologies to you. 172 00:05:53,793 --> 00:05:55,620 Okay, that's fine. You can update the song, 173 00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:58,551 but we gotta do something with this goddamn character. 174 00:05:58,620 --> 00:05:59,862 - Yes. - We gotta update him, 175 00:05:59,931 --> 00:06:01,241 you know what I'm sayin'? 176 00:06:01,310 --> 00:06:02,758 We need to get rid of this hat, 177 00:06:02,827 --> 00:06:04,344 give him some black shades, and a-- 178 00:06:04,413 --> 00:06:05,965 like a black shirt, let his muscles pop out. 179 00:06:06,034 --> 00:06:09,241 - You want Farmer Zack to lose the straw hat 180 00:06:09,310 --> 00:06:11,482 and have a tight black shirt? 181 00:06:11,551 --> 00:06:13,068 - That's it. - Yeah. 182 00:06:13,137 --> 00:06:14,655 Yeah, we could do that, though. 183 00:06:14,724 --> 00:06:15,896 - That's what I mean. Mike! 184 00:06:15,965 --> 00:06:17,655 What you doing, man?! 185 00:06:19,275 --> 00:06:20,620 He just had his dick in a melon. 186 00:06:20,689 --> 00:06:24,137 He's got his dick in a melon! 187 00:06:24,206 --> 00:06:25,655 - Oh, she's buying the dick melon. 188 00:06:25,724 --> 00:06:27,103 She's buying the dick--ma'am! - Ma'am! 189 00:06:27,172 --> 00:06:28,379 - Ma'am, ma'am, ma'am! - Ma'am! 190 00:06:28,448 --> 00:06:29,517 - A man had his penis in that. 191 00:06:29,586 --> 00:06:30,793 - I'll get you a new one. 192 00:06:33,448 --> 00:06:35,586 - Mm-hmm. 193 00:06:37,344 --> 00:06:38,758 [sighs] 194 00:06:40,689 --> 00:06:42,827 - Oh, babe. - Hm? 195 00:06:42,896 --> 00:06:44,724 - Got some exciting news. - What? 196 00:06:44,793 --> 00:06:47,620 - We just hired an amazing gospel singer 197 00:06:47,689 --> 00:06:51,206 to sing the new and improved Farmer Zack's jingle. 198 00:06:53,344 --> 00:06:55,172 - Is it that raggedy bitch Bebe Jenkins? 199 00:06:55,241 --> 00:06:57,689 - Oh, no, babe, uh, it's-- I was talking about you. 200 00:06:57,758 --> 00:06:59,068 Just trying to be sweet. It's you. 201 00:06:59,137 --> 00:07:00,448 - Oh, my God! 202 00:07:00,517 --> 00:07:03,241 Oh, my--that'll be so much fun. 203 00:07:03,310 --> 00:07:05,068 Babe, you're the cutest. 204 00:07:05,137 --> 00:07:06,448 - Ah, actually I'm the sexiest. 205 00:07:06,517 --> 00:07:07,758 But yeah, we can re-record the jingle 206 00:07:07,827 --> 00:07:09,206 and never hear the old one again. 207 00:07:09,275 --> 00:07:11,517 - Good. Because you acted so weird 208 00:07:11,586 --> 00:07:13,206 when it came on the other day. 209 00:07:13,862 --> 00:07:15,586 Sam, I'm not bothered 210 00:07:15,655 --> 00:07:18,482 by you and your ex being so sexual, 211 00:07:18,551 --> 00:07:20,896 'cause... 212 00:07:20,965 --> 00:07:22,517 we can be sexual, too. 213 00:07:22,586 --> 00:07:25,689 - Oh. - And not just in the studios. 214 00:07:26,931 --> 00:07:28,448 Goodnight. 215 00:07:32,448 --> 00:07:33,620 - Hey, YouTubers, it's your girl 216 00:07:33,689 --> 00:07:34,758 Chrissy-Cross comin' at you 217 00:07:34,827 --> 00:07:36,241 with that new hotness-- 218 00:07:36,310 --> 00:07:38,551 a natural hair up-do. 219 00:07:38,620 --> 00:07:40,896 Just follow the steps in this tutorial, 220 00:07:40,965 --> 00:07:42,896 put on a dress that shows off your figure, 221 00:07:42,965 --> 00:07:44,827 and get out of the house! 222 00:07:44,896 --> 00:07:46,344 - Why are you talking like that? 223 00:07:46,413 --> 00:07:48,034 - Dang it, Tim. Get out of the shot. 224 00:07:49,344 --> 00:07:51,758 - Sam is gonna re-record the Farmer Zack's jingle 225 00:07:51,827 --> 00:07:52,793 with Shannon. 226 00:07:52,862 --> 00:07:54,172 - Really? 227 00:07:54,241 --> 00:07:55,862 Sam and Molly had such good chemistry 228 00:07:55,931 --> 00:07:57,413 in that song. 229 00:07:57,482 --> 00:07:59,482 And no offense to Shannon... - None taken. 230 00:07:59,551 --> 00:08:00,655 - But it just won't be the same. 231 00:08:00,724 --> 00:08:01,931 - I know. - I mean, 232 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:03,344 she's a perfectly nice girl. 233 00:08:03,413 --> 00:08:05,137 - Perfectly nice. - But you can tell 234 00:08:05,206 --> 00:08:06,655 when two people just aren't right for each other, 235 00:08:06,724 --> 00:08:08,482 - Yeah. When Sam's around her, 236 00:08:08,551 --> 00:08:10,551 he's completely lost his star factor. 237 00:08:10,620 --> 00:08:12,379 - What? - His star factor. 238 00:08:12,448 --> 00:08:14,413 That special something that makes you go from 239 00:08:14,482 --> 00:08:17,034 a face in the crowd to a face in lights. 240 00:08:17,862 --> 00:08:19,137 - You gonna tell him? - No. 241 00:08:19,206 --> 00:08:21,241 I'm gonna pretend to be supportive. 242 00:08:21,310 --> 00:08:22,827 - Good for you. 243 00:08:22,896 --> 00:08:24,689 Now get out of here. I'm making a tutorial. 244 00:08:24,758 --> 00:08:28,275 And don't cross through in the background. 245 00:08:28,344 --> 00:08:29,793 - Why not? 246 00:08:29,862 --> 00:08:31,310 - 'Cause when you do, 247 00:08:31,379 --> 00:08:33,862 people in the comments section roast you. 248 00:08:33,931 --> 00:08:35,620 I mean, they light you up. 249 00:08:35,689 --> 00:08:38,689 - [scoffs] Like I care what people who watch your tutorials 250 00:08:38,758 --> 00:08:40,344 say about me. 251 00:08:40,413 --> 00:08:41,551 What is one? 252 00:08:43,137 --> 00:08:45,413 - "When did Chucky grow up and get ugly?" 253 00:08:45,482 --> 00:08:47,586 - Chucky grow up to get ugly?! 254 00:08:47,655 --> 00:08:49,793 Chucky's ugly as a boy! 255 00:08:49,862 --> 00:08:51,586 Bad logic. Next. 256 00:08:51,655 --> 00:08:52,758 - [sighs] 257 00:08:52,827 --> 00:08:54,689 "Look like the McRib is back." 258 00:08:54,758 --> 00:08:56,724 - [sputtering] How am I a McRib?! 259 00:08:56,793 --> 00:08:59,517 I'm a man with a big old hog! 260 00:08:59,586 --> 00:09:01,827 Put that in the video! I--I don't care. 261 00:09:01,896 --> 00:09:04,448 Ha, ha, that's-- I don't care. 262 00:09:04,517 --> 00:09:05,827 - Okay, then. 263 00:09:08,172 --> 00:09:09,862 Hey, YouTubers, it's your girl, 264 00:09:09,931 --> 00:09:11,344 Chrissy Cross, coming to-- 265 00:09:11,413 --> 00:09:12,482 - What you got to say about this right here? 266 00:09:12,551 --> 00:09:14,344 - Tim, no! 267 00:09:14,413 --> 00:09:18,206 both: ♪ And it's always bargain time at Farmer Zack's ♪ 268 00:09:18,275 --> 00:09:21,310 - ♪ You'll get your nickels back ♪ 269 00:09:21,379 --> 00:09:26,000 both: ♪ Yeah, it's always bargain time at Farmer Zack's ♪ 270 00:09:26,068 --> 00:09:29,517 - ♪ Farmer Zaaaa... ♪ 271 00:09:29,586 --> 00:09:31,896 ♪ Aaaack's ♪ 272 00:09:31,965 --> 00:09:35,172 ♪ Oh, yeah, yeah ♪ 273 00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:36,862 ♪ Yeah ♪ Whoo! 274 00:09:36,931 --> 00:09:38,551 In His name. How was that? 275 00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:39,724 - That was great, babe. 276 00:09:39,793 --> 00:09:42,482 - Good? - Great job! 277 00:09:42,551 --> 00:09:43,655 Great job. 278 00:09:43,724 --> 00:09:45,758 - That wasn't sexy. 279 00:09:45,827 --> 00:09:47,172 - Not at all. 280 00:09:47,241 --> 00:09:49,000 It was like feeling up a girl 281 00:09:49,068 --> 00:09:50,379 and there's turds in her bra. 282 00:09:50,448 --> 00:09:51,758 - Turds in her bra? 283 00:09:51,827 --> 00:09:53,275 Why would she have turds in her bra? 284 00:09:54,344 --> 00:09:56,034 - It's a prank, idiot. 285 00:09:56,103 --> 00:09:57,310 - Ugh. 286 00:09:57,379 --> 00:09:59,862 ♪ ♪ Farmer Zaaaa... ♪ 287 00:09:59,931 --> 00:10:02,517 ♪ Aaaack's ♪ 288 00:10:05,241 --> 00:10:06,931 - I don't like it, guys. 289 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:08,586 It's not making me horny. 290 00:10:08,655 --> 00:10:10,344 - I'm sorry? - It didn't give me wood. 291 00:10:10,413 --> 00:10:13,965 Look. No wood. Flat as a board. You know? 292 00:10:14,034 --> 00:10:16,827 Well, that's a piss dot right there. 293 00:10:16,896 --> 00:10:19,275 Sometimes when I urine, I don't stop it all the way. 294 00:10:19,344 --> 00:10:22,206 And, you know, it comes out on my clothes. 295 00:10:22,275 --> 00:10:23,620 I mean, I don't know what you guys did. 296 00:10:23,689 --> 00:10:25,413 You did something different, but-- 297 00:10:25,482 --> 00:10:27,517 - Well, actually, we brought in a professional singer. 298 00:10:27,586 --> 00:10:29,655 - Mm-mm. Bring back that nice lady. 299 00:10:29,724 --> 00:10:31,551 What's her name? Molly. 300 00:10:31,620 --> 00:10:33,896 Yeah. About this farmer thing. 301 00:10:33,965 --> 00:10:35,724 - Yeah, we gave him the tight black shirt, 302 00:10:35,793 --> 00:10:37,344 and we gave him the cool sunglasses. 303 00:10:37,413 --> 00:10:39,827 - Good. But you know what I'm thinking? 304 00:10:39,896 --> 00:10:41,586 Leather pants. 305 00:10:41,655 --> 00:10:44,724 - Farmer Zack's gonna wear leather pants? 306 00:10:44,793 --> 00:10:46,172 - And... 307 00:10:46,241 --> 00:10:48,655 a black trench coat. 308 00:10:48,724 --> 00:10:50,275 - Yeah, we can do all that. 309 00:10:50,344 --> 00:10:53,137 - Thanks, guys. - Well, this sucks. 310 00:10:53,206 --> 00:10:55,137 I mean, re-recording the song with my ex-girlfriend's 311 00:10:55,206 --> 00:10:56,655 gonna be much more awkward. 312 00:10:56,724 --> 00:10:57,965 - Yeah, I completely agree. 313 00:10:58,034 --> 00:10:59,551 - I mean, the Shannon and me version 314 00:10:59,620 --> 00:11:01,310 is better than the Molly and me version. 315 00:11:01,379 --> 00:11:03,344 Technically. - Yeah, technically. 316 00:11:03,413 --> 00:11:06,034 I just Randy's probably just coming from a place 317 00:11:06,103 --> 00:11:08,034 where he feels the other version was more fun. 318 00:11:08,103 --> 00:11:09,379 - Yeah, I see that. 319 00:11:09,448 --> 00:11:11,172 But the version with Shannon was great. 320 00:11:11,241 --> 00:11:13,275 [together] Technically. - Technically it is. 321 00:11:13,344 --> 00:11:15,206 - Technically. - Technically. 322 00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:18,655 [groovy music] 323 00:11:18,724 --> 00:11:20,620 - Hey, pig. 324 00:11:20,689 --> 00:11:22,103 - Get ourselves some lettuce and tomato, 325 00:11:22,172 --> 00:11:24,275 and we got ourselves a BLT. 326 00:11:24,344 --> 00:11:26,551 - Careful. Before I turn this body cam off 327 00:11:26,620 --> 00:11:27,965 and go to town on your ass. 328 00:11:28,034 --> 00:11:29,586 - You ain't wearing a body cam. 329 00:11:29,655 --> 00:11:30,655 - Whoops. 330 00:11:30,724 --> 00:11:32,862 [laughter] 331 00:11:32,931 --> 00:11:34,655 - There she is. How are you, Molly? 332 00:11:34,724 --> 00:11:36,413 - Hey, good. - Great to see you. 333 00:11:36,482 --> 00:11:38,551 - Good to see you too, Tim. - Yeah. 334 00:11:38,620 --> 00:11:39,965 - Sam, you're looking well. 335 00:11:40,034 --> 00:11:41,379 - And sexy, I know. 336 00:11:41,448 --> 00:11:42,655 Molly, I need to talk to you. 337 00:11:42,724 --> 00:11:45,206 - I'll give you some space. 338 00:11:45,275 --> 00:11:49,448 - Molly, we're shooting a new Farmer Zack's commercial. 339 00:11:49,517 --> 00:11:52,448 And we need you to sing the jingle again. 340 00:11:52,517 --> 00:11:54,724 - With you? - Yeah, with me. 341 00:11:54,793 --> 00:11:55,965 - Like last time? 342 00:11:56,034 --> 00:11:56,965 - Hey, babe. 343 00:11:57,034 --> 00:11:58,068 - Like last time. 344 00:11:58,137 --> 00:11:59,655 - My name is Tim. 345 00:11:59,724 --> 00:12:01,827 - Well, I ain't seen anything pretty as you 346 00:12:01,896 --> 00:12:02,965 in about a minute or two. 347 00:12:03,034 --> 00:12:05,482 - [chuckles] Doubt it. 348 00:12:05,551 --> 00:12:07,103 - Shut up. Sorry, Tim. 349 00:12:07,172 --> 00:12:08,896 - It's fine. I actually need this right now. 350 00:12:08,965 --> 00:12:10,965 Somebody called me Chucky on the Internet. 351 00:12:11,034 --> 00:12:13,068 - Like a handsome version of Chucky? 352 00:12:13,137 --> 00:12:16,517 - [laughs] You. Shut up. 353 00:12:16,586 --> 00:12:17,862 [giggling] 354 00:12:17,931 --> 00:12:20,482 - Sam, the last time we sang that song, 355 00:12:20,551 --> 00:12:21,758 we were in love. 356 00:12:21,827 --> 00:12:23,827 - Yeah, we almost got engaged. 357 00:12:23,896 --> 00:12:25,551 I put a ring in a piece of cake. 358 00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:27,034 - I ate the cake. 359 00:12:27,103 --> 00:12:28,896 - And then, when we went through your stool, 360 00:12:28,965 --> 00:12:31,275 there were two diamond rings in there. 361 00:12:31,344 --> 00:12:33,310 That's how I knew you were cheating on me. 362 00:12:33,379 --> 00:12:36,000 - Sam, I'm still so sorry about that. 363 00:12:36,068 --> 00:12:37,724 - We don't have to go down that road. 364 00:12:37,793 --> 00:12:39,896 Just... re-record the jingle with me, okay? 365 00:12:39,965 --> 00:12:41,827 - Yeah, sure. 366 00:12:41,896 --> 00:12:43,241 I figure I owe you one. 367 00:12:43,310 --> 00:12:45,206 - Molly? Can I get your set of keys? 368 00:12:45,275 --> 00:12:46,724 He wants to get let out of there. 369 00:12:46,793 --> 00:12:48,103 He wants to get a better look at my body. 370 00:12:48,172 --> 00:12:49,758 - No! He murdered someone. 371 00:12:49,827 --> 00:12:52,689 - Ricky! 372 00:12:54,275 --> 00:12:56,206 - ♪ It's bargain time at Farmer Zack's ♪ 373 00:12:56,275 --> 00:12:59,827 [giggles] ♪ Farmer Zack's ♪ 374 00:12:59,896 --> 00:13:01,586 - It's just so catchy. - [mumbling] 375 00:13:01,655 --> 00:13:03,482 - ♪ If you wanna save money... ♪ 376 00:13:03,551 --> 00:13:05,344 - Maybe that's enough singing for tonight. 377 00:13:05,413 --> 00:13:07,758 - Hey, YouTubers, it's that Chrissy-Issy-Issy 378 00:13:07,827 --> 00:13:10,310 coming at you with another hairstyle-- 379 00:13:11,310 --> 00:13:12,689 - "I love your tutorials, 380 00:13:12,758 --> 00:13:14,172 but your husband's not hot enough for you." 381 00:13:14,241 --> 00:13:15,931 Disagree. 382 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:17,758 "Gross husband." Disagree. 383 00:13:17,827 --> 00:13:19,620 "This girl's married to the Penguin." 384 00:13:19,689 --> 00:13:21,379 No, she's not! Disagree! 385 00:13:21,448 --> 00:13:24,068 "Watch out, Chrissy, there's a fat ghost in your room." 386 00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:25,172 Bullshit! 387 00:13:25,241 --> 00:13:26,931 [exhales] 388 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:28,344 [grunts] 389 00:13:29,620 --> 00:13:33,000 Listen up, society. 390 00:13:33,068 --> 00:13:35,068 You are now ordered 391 00:13:35,137 --> 00:13:37,206 to cease and desist the teasing 392 00:13:37,275 --> 00:13:39,482 of one Tim Cramblin. 393 00:13:39,551 --> 00:13:42,793 We are the agents of chaos. 394 00:13:42,862 --> 00:13:45,655 Stop teasing him! 395 00:13:45,724 --> 00:13:48,206 - Tim, you clogged the toilet again. 396 00:13:48,275 --> 00:13:49,551 - As if. 397 00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:52,241 - Stop putting baby wipes in the toilet. 398 00:13:52,310 --> 00:13:53,482 - Shut up. - What? 399 00:13:53,551 --> 00:13:55,310 - Nothing. Sorry, sweetheart. 400 00:13:55,379 --> 00:13:58,344 - Yeah. I love the trench coat, 401 00:13:58,413 --> 00:13:59,413 the tight muscle shirt, 402 00:13:59,482 --> 00:14:00,551 the leather pants-- 403 00:14:00,620 --> 00:14:03,103 oh, the shades, the shades. 404 00:14:03,172 --> 00:14:06,517 Yeah. You know what'd be really cool? 405 00:14:06,586 --> 00:14:08,517 If we made him black. 406 00:14:08,586 --> 00:14:09,862 - Yeah. 407 00:14:09,931 --> 00:14:11,896 - Hell yes! And you know what? 408 00:14:11,965 --> 00:14:14,310 I wouldn't be mad if he had a sword. 409 00:14:14,379 --> 00:14:16,068 - Yeah, but Tim, what if Molly and I 410 00:14:16,137 --> 00:14:18,379 reach the same depths of sexuality as last time? 411 00:14:18,448 --> 00:14:19,862 I mean, that would be cheating, right? 412 00:14:19,931 --> 00:14:21,448 - Yeah, it would, but you'll be fine. 413 00:14:21,517 --> 00:14:23,379 - I mean, I dressed down to look less attractive. 414 00:14:23,448 --> 00:14:24,724 - Sorry, bud. 415 00:14:24,793 --> 00:14:26,172 You look like a friggin' smoke show. 416 00:14:26,241 --> 00:14:27,413 - I know. I'm a hot piece of ass. 417 00:14:27,482 --> 00:14:29,000 Perfect ten. - Mm-hmm. 418 00:14:29,068 --> 00:14:30,275 - Girls want to bang me, and guys want to be me 419 00:14:30,344 --> 00:14:31,310 being banged by them. 420 00:14:31,379 --> 00:14:32,379 - Sucks. 421 00:14:32,448 --> 00:14:33,551 - Maybe I shouldn't do this. 422 00:14:33,620 --> 00:14:35,724 - Calm down. It's just Molly. 423 00:14:35,793 --> 00:14:37,034 [elevator dings] 424 00:14:37,103 --> 00:14:39,034 [sensual jazz music] 425 00:14:39,103 --> 00:14:42,000 - ♪ Some women can make a man ♪ 426 00:14:42,068 --> 00:14:43,206 ♪ ♪ 427 00:14:43,275 --> 00:14:47,034 ♪ A very good wife ♪ 428 00:14:47,103 --> 00:14:50,103 ♪ But let me tell you, crooked woman's ♪ 429 00:14:50,172 --> 00:14:53,344 ♪ Not worth the sacrifice ♪ 430 00:14:53,413 --> 00:14:59,931 ♪ ♪ 431 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:03,758 ♪ Oh well, I don't want no ♪ 432 00:15:03,827 --> 00:15:05,206 ♪ Crooked wom-- 433 00:15:05,275 --> 00:15:06,620 - Hi, Sam. 434 00:15:06,689 --> 00:15:08,517 - Hey, Molly. You look great. 435 00:15:08,586 --> 00:15:10,965 - Thanks. I was in a prostitution sting. 436 00:15:11,034 --> 00:15:12,896 High-end. 437 00:15:12,965 --> 00:15:14,586 - Well, I bet you got a lot of offers 438 00:15:14,655 --> 00:15:16,862 for HJs or BJs or whatever's else was on the menu. 439 00:15:16,931 --> 00:15:18,448 I bet they wanted it all. 440 00:15:18,517 --> 00:15:21,241 Who cares? Molly, come on. Let's do this. 441 00:15:21,310 --> 00:15:25,344 - Okay, you two. Make love to my ears. 442 00:15:25,413 --> 00:15:29,482 Bareback, baby. No Jimmy. Raw dog. 443 00:15:30,965 --> 00:15:34,172 [piano music] 444 00:15:34,241 --> 00:15:35,793 - ♪ If you w-- 445 00:15:35,862 --> 00:15:36,793 sorry, I, uh-- 446 00:15:36,862 --> 00:15:38,344 can you start over? 447 00:15:38,413 --> 00:15:39,724 - You came in a little late there. 448 00:15:39,793 --> 00:15:41,379 - Yeah, I did. - [laughing] 449 00:15:41,448 --> 00:15:43,137 - Oh, my God, super cute. 450 00:15:43,206 --> 00:15:45,758 Let's do it again, okay? Raw dog. No raincoat. 451 00:15:45,827 --> 00:15:48,448 - Sam, I like your outfit. 452 00:15:48,517 --> 00:15:50,620 You look sexy. 453 00:15:50,689 --> 00:15:53,034 - ♪ If you want to save money ♪ 454 00:15:53,103 --> 00:15:55,620 ♪ More than just some of the time ♪ 455 00:15:55,689 --> 00:15:58,068 - ♪ It's an undeniable fact ♪ 456 00:15:58,137 --> 00:16:03,034 - ♪ If you want to save dollars dime after dime after dime ♪ 457 00:16:03,103 --> 00:16:05,586 - ♪ It's an undeniable fact ♪ 458 00:16:05,655 --> 00:16:10,310 both: ♪ And it's always bargain time at Farmer Zack's ♪ 459 00:16:10,379 --> 00:16:13,034 - ♪ You get your nickels back ♪ 460 00:16:13,103 --> 00:16:17,862 both: ♪ And it's always bargain time at Farmer Zack's ♪ 461 00:16:17,931 --> 00:16:21,275 - ♪ Farmer Zack's ♪ 462 00:16:21,344 --> 00:16:22,724 ♪ Cupid's got a secret ♪ 463 00:16:22,793 --> 00:16:25,379 ♪ Chocolates just 10.99 ♪ 464 00:16:25,448 --> 00:16:28,206 - ♪ Perfect for your Valentine ♪ 465 00:16:28,275 --> 00:16:30,344 - ♪ For your romantic dinner ♪ 466 00:16:30,413 --> 00:16:32,965 ♪ Bring home a bottle of wine ♪ 467 00:16:33,034 --> 00:16:35,517 - ♪ You'll have a really good time ♪ 468 00:16:35,586 --> 00:16:40,379 both: ♪ And it's always bargain time at Farmer Zack's ♪ 469 00:16:40,448 --> 00:16:43,413 - ♪ Farmer Zack's ♪ 470 00:16:43,482 --> 00:16:48,482 ♪ ♪ 471 00:16:52,206 --> 00:16:53,620 - Oh! 472 00:16:53,689 --> 00:16:54,758 Ladies and gentlemen, 473 00:16:54,827 --> 00:16:56,862 we have genuine wood. 474 00:16:56,931 --> 00:16:59,000 - Oh! - Huh? 475 00:16:59,068 --> 00:17:00,241 Look at that! 476 00:17:00,310 --> 00:17:02,068 That's a piss dot right there, 477 00:17:02,137 --> 00:17:03,620 but it's old. 478 00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:06,655 [mellow music] 479 00:17:06,724 --> 00:17:13,896 ♪ ♪ 480 00:17:14,862 --> 00:17:17,551 - Tim, back at the studio, 481 00:17:17,620 --> 00:17:20,689 I came. - Cool. 482 00:17:20,758 --> 00:17:22,068 - I mean, there's a chemistry there. 483 00:17:22,137 --> 00:17:23,724 I can't explain it. - Yeah. 484 00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:25,379 - I mean, Shannon's so nice. 485 00:17:25,448 --> 00:17:27,137 - So nice. 486 00:17:27,206 --> 00:17:29,344 - Tim, I don't know what to do. 487 00:17:29,413 --> 00:17:31,517 - I think you should do... 488 00:17:31,586 --> 00:17:33,827 whatever it is you're about to do. 489 00:17:33,896 --> 00:17:35,310 - Break up with her? 490 00:17:35,379 --> 00:17:37,344 - Maybe. I mean... 491 00:17:39,482 --> 00:17:42,448 As long as you get to hit them skins one last time. 492 00:17:42,517 --> 00:17:44,275 - Oh, Tim, come on. What are you doing? 493 00:17:44,344 --> 00:17:46,000 Don't talk like that. - I don't know. 494 00:17:46,068 --> 00:17:48,413 It's this hat. It's changing me. 495 00:17:48,482 --> 00:17:49,931 - Throw it out. 496 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:51,275 - I tried. 497 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,275 - ♪ Sweet chariot ♪ 498 00:17:57,344 --> 00:17:59,241 ♪ Comin' for to carry me... ♪ 499 00:17:59,310 --> 00:18:01,896 Hey, babe. - Hey, Shannon. 500 00:18:01,965 --> 00:18:04,275 - What's wrong? 501 00:18:04,344 --> 00:18:06,965 - I don't think this is working. 502 00:18:07,034 --> 00:18:08,827 - What? [chuckles] 503 00:18:08,896 --> 00:18:10,862 This is coming out of nowhere. 504 00:18:10,931 --> 00:18:12,310 Is there something wrong with the song? 505 00:18:12,379 --> 00:18:13,758 - No, uh... well, 506 00:18:13,827 --> 00:18:15,758 we did have to re-record the song with Molly. 507 00:18:15,827 --> 00:18:17,551 But it's only because the-- 508 00:18:17,620 --> 00:18:19,586 the client thought there was no spark in ours, 509 00:18:19,655 --> 00:18:20,896 which is kind of my point. 510 00:18:20,965 --> 00:18:22,551 There's, like, no spark here. 511 00:18:22,620 --> 00:18:24,034 - What are you gonna do? 512 00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:25,862 Spend the rest of your life hanging out with Tim 513 00:18:25,931 --> 00:18:28,137 telling vulgar high school stories about your ass 514 00:18:28,206 --> 00:18:29,275 and your testicles? 515 00:18:29,344 --> 00:18:31,000 - Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. 516 00:18:31,068 --> 00:18:33,931 I never said my balls came out, okay? 517 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:35,034 I mean, they did. 518 00:18:35,103 --> 00:18:37,482 Got a huge laugh. 519 00:18:37,551 --> 00:18:41,137 Look, Shannon, you're perfect. 520 00:18:41,206 --> 00:18:44,379 But we're not perfect for each other. 521 00:18:44,448 --> 00:18:46,034 And I don't think either of us should settle 522 00:18:46,103 --> 00:18:47,275 for anything less. 523 00:18:47,344 --> 00:18:50,310 [reflective music] 524 00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:56,793 ♪ ♪ 525 00:18:56,862 --> 00:18:58,482 - Sam... 526 00:18:58,551 --> 00:18:59,931 I just want you to know 527 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:02,758 that I never felt like I was settling. 528 00:19:04,068 --> 00:19:05,344 - I did. 529 00:19:05,413 --> 00:19:06,758 I--I felt like I was settling. 530 00:19:08,413 --> 00:19:09,827 - Damn it, Sam. - Oh, sorry. 531 00:19:09,896 --> 00:19:11,413 S--ah, oof. No, I'm sorry. 532 00:19:11,482 --> 00:19:12,586 - [sputters] 533 00:19:14,551 --> 00:19:15,758 - Love you. 534 00:19:16,793 --> 00:19:18,137 Oh, I'm s-- I'm sorry. 535 00:19:18,206 --> 00:19:20,310 - Listen up, society. - Tim. 536 00:19:20,379 --> 00:19:22,931 You posted that video under my name? 537 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:24,620 - No. Cease and desist... 538 00:19:24,689 --> 00:19:27,068 Why, what happened? Did you get hacked by Anonymous? 539 00:19:27,137 --> 00:19:28,620 - Well, I did it. 540 00:19:28,689 --> 00:19:32,137 Slingin' single Sammy is back town, baby. 541 00:19:32,206 --> 00:19:34,068 - I'm sorry, buddy. That must've been hard. 542 00:19:34,137 --> 00:19:36,620 - It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. 543 00:19:36,689 --> 00:19:37,896 - She was sweet. 544 00:19:37,965 --> 00:19:39,620 And Mom and Dad will be crushed. 545 00:19:39,689 --> 00:19:41,275 But ten years from now, 546 00:19:41,344 --> 00:19:42,586 you don't want to wake up and realize 547 00:19:42,655 --> 00:19:43,862 you married the wrong person. 548 00:19:43,931 --> 00:19:45,310 - Yep, yeah. - That's true. 549 00:19:45,379 --> 00:19:46,482 Chrissy's right. She could've turned out 550 00:19:46,551 --> 00:19:47,827 to be a child molester. 551 00:19:47,896 --> 00:19:49,137 - What? - What? 552 00:19:49,206 --> 00:19:50,655 - Well, I'm just-- I'm just saying, 553 00:19:50,724 --> 00:19:53,000 Chrissy's saying, ten years is a long time. 554 00:19:53,068 --> 00:19:54,379 A lot could happen. 555 00:19:54,448 --> 00:19:55,862 She could turned into a child molester. 556 00:19:55,931 --> 00:19:57,551 - That is not what I'm saying. 557 00:19:57,620 --> 00:19:59,206 - Tim, how do you "turn into" a child molester? 558 00:19:59,275 --> 00:20:01,655 - Uh, you get molested by one, Sam. 559 00:20:01,724 --> 00:20:03,655 - It's not like getting bit by a werewolf. 560 00:20:03,724 --> 00:20:05,724 - Uh, whatever, I'm just agreeing, 561 00:20:05,793 --> 00:20:08,000 Mom and Dad are gonna be crushed. 562 00:20:08,068 --> 00:20:10,482 Hey, to Shannon. 563 00:20:10,551 --> 00:20:11,931 - To Shannon. - To Shannon. 564 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,482 - God bless her. 565 00:20:14,551 --> 00:20:16,827 Get her off these streets before she [bleep] a kid. 566 00:20:16,896 --> 00:20:19,000 - Baby, no. 567 00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:21,862 - ♪ And it's always bargain time ♪ 568 00:20:21,931 --> 00:20:23,724 ♪ At Farmer Zack's ♪ 569 00:20:23,793 --> 00:20:26,586 - ♪ Farmer Zack's ♪ 570 00:20:26,655 --> 00:20:27,689 ♪ ♪ 571 00:20:27,758 --> 00:20:29,758 - Whoa! Was that Blade? 572 00:20:29,827 --> 00:20:31,620 Blade is so freaking cool. 573 00:20:31,689 --> 00:20:34,413 And now moving onto the lighter side of the news, 574 00:20:34,482 --> 00:20:36,206 what's actually in your dog's food? 575 00:20:36,275 --> 00:20:38,931 The surprising answer might make you rethink 576 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:40,344 eating dog food. 577 00:20:40,413 --> 00:20:43,448 [techno music] 578 00:20:43,517 --> 00:20:50,655 ♪ ♪ 579 00:21:03,068 --> 00:21:03,965 Mike! 580 00:21:04,034 --> 00:21:05,379 Don't you do-- 581 00:21:05,448 --> 00:21:07,103 don't you do it! 582 00:21:14,172 --> 00:21:16,965 [both mumbling] 583 00:21:18,413 --> 00:21:19,758 - Uh-huh. 584 00:21:21,827 --> 00:21:24,137 - Right. Right. 585 00:21:24,206 --> 00:21:25,689 - Well, I'll be danged.